Tear Drops and Hope

Dear Readers, 

Do you remember the children's book "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"?

That was my day, both yesterday and today. Yesterday I woke up and I just felt unattractive. I had dark circles under my eyes, a pimple on my forehead, I was running late that morning, and did not have a nice outfit on, and got to work 30 minutes late... yikes. 

Once I got to work I started to get in the groove of doing what my boss wanted me to. I was answering his emails and helping with clients. Through out the day though I had a coworker, who let's just say, wanted to bicker, and since I wasn't giving in hurt the feelings of said person. 

After handling that fiasco, I got assigned to help one client in particular, for my boss. It's a long story and I can not go into details but she was not following the rules and was not happy that she got caught by the head of the company. 

With that being said... the person decided to talk down to me, belittle me, and try her best to make me feel insignificant. After the hour long meeting, I walked away feeling defeated and even less self-esteem than before, when I left my home this morning. I had to take a minute to myself and have a little cry and also just to get some actual fresh air. It helped and I freshened myself up and went back in and continued to my work. 

Later that evening I discovered the news that my friends brother, who has been missing since July 27th, 2017 body was discovered.
After feeling sorry for myself all day I couldn't help but feel horrible. Here I am, feeling I look ugly and bad because I have been having a horrible work day and my friend and his entire's families heart's were just shattered. They lost a brother, son, father, and husband. An amazing man and will never be forgotten.

After hearing this, I waited till everyone else left my work building and I just sat at my desk and with my hands on my knees and head laying in them, I cried and cried some more. For awhile I just could not get them to stop. I felt defeated and my heart felt quite heavy...

I drove home listening to some songs, to help cheer me up. Once I got home I did some self-care. That included:
1)Steam Shower
2) Watching "The Goonies"
3) Eating some lemon cake with cream cheese frosting
4) Hugs from my family

After doing that I felt much more calm and like I could go to sleep that night.


Even though these past 2 days have been hard, I have grown and I have learned something.
It's okay to have moments where you feel bad for yourself but do not stew in them. If you have to have a couple days to hurt, do it and do not let anyone say you can't.
We each NEED to feel all of our emotions and not let them get pushed down and ignore them. It's unhealthy and does so much damaged to our mental and physical health in the long run.

Remember to do a thing a day for you and for someone else. It really will make you feel better and get you through the trying times. It has for me.

SO! Even though my life is a little bit of a roller coaster, at the moment. I know it will get less bumpy and smooth, soon.



 Life is a blessing and so are each of you.

Love,

Nathan

I Don't Know About You But I'm Feeling 22

Dear Readers, 

As tomorrow (August 8th) is my 22nd birthday I wanted to share 22 things I have learned through out my life, so far.  

I hope they help you with whatever you are going through and know I adore each of you. 

1) Love the body you have given. 

- I have learned this time and time again. It is so important to take your own personal journey and learn to love EVERY part of you. You are perfect just as you are.

2) Hold your tongue at times. 

-It's always good to let your voice be heard but don't say things that may cause harm to others. Use your voice to bring smiles to others... not frowns. 

3) Eat that piece of cake or buy that shirt. 

-Everyday is a gift and we need to live like it is so. Eat that piece of cake that looks delicious or buy that shirt from the mall you are obsessed with. It really is worth it. 

4) It's okay to cry in front of others. 

-Throughout my life (especially this past year) I have felt all the emotions I have found it's better to be vulnerable and share what's on your mind than bottling it up and hurting yourself. 

5) Chase what lights you up.

- I use to just go with the crowd and I have learned life is way more fun doing exactly what you love than what others want you to. 

6) Do things that scare you. 

-Go out to that party and jump in that lake. You won't grow unless you go out of your box. 

7) Don't be afraid to make new friends. 

- I use to think I have all the friends I need but I have learned it's always good to meet new people. You never know who will become your forever friend. 

8) Forget the haters. 

-There will always be people who think less of you... don't pay attention to them and live your life!

9) Make time for yourself. 

-You time is so important. Even if it is just a bath and some good tunes. Always make time for yourself. 

10) Be willing to find new music. 

-This one is more recent. At the end of last year my friend started to share a new song with my everyday and ever since than I have loved the adventure to find new tunes. 

11) Find outlets to express yourself. 

-I have always used my writing to share my thoughts and I always have used my dancing. It's almost like therapy for me and I promise that whatever your outlet is, if you continue to do it or start to do it, you will start to see how happy it makes you. 

12) Make family and friend time important. 

-Yes, we all are so busy but when you make some time each week to spend with the people you love, you will build relationships and grow a support system. Which we all need. 

13) Enjoy fashion! 

-Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE fashion and picking out new outfits. It's an amazing outlet and you will feel more confident in all you do when you love what you wear. 

14) Make goals. 

-It might sound cliche but it is so important. Give yourself things to achieve. It will get you more motivated in your daily life and help you feel more accomplished. 

15) Try to be a little more healthy. 

-Whether it's going for a walk or to just drinking more water. You only have one body and it's important to take care of it. 

16) Denny's at 2 in the morning, with friends is sometimes just what you need. 

-Nobody is there and I have had some of the deepest conversations with some friends there. 

***ALSO the cinnamon-roll pancakes are kind of to die for*** (; 

17) If you don't succeed the first time, try again. 

-Never give up on something that really matters to you. Yes, you might not be the best at it right now but if you give up before really giving it a shot, you will never truly know how well you could have done. 

18) What matter in high school no one will care about in college. 

-Just trust me on that one. 

19) Always be willing to go on a second date.

-Now this isn't for the ones you feel creeped out by but on the first date everyone is nervous. Go on the second date and you can see a more relaxed them and really see who they are and if it could go somewhere. 

20) Don't get embarrassed. 

-When you are out with friends and dancing just dance! Who cares what others think. They don't know you and just be you. Never let the haters win. 

21) Never let what happened in the past control your present/future. 

-Bad things have happened to all of us. It hurts and someday's you still remember that event... that's okay. Take time to heal and come back from that but in the end never let it take over your life. There may be moments, yes but never let it consume you and take of your life. 

You're worth more than that. 

22) Just live and strive for a happy life. 

- Life is amazing and even though there are bumps there are way more smooth spots to enjoy. So laugh a lot more, cry a lot less, and remember that your life is oh so good. 

I am excited to see what this new year of life has in-store for me and I am grateful to be alive. 

Goodbye 21 and hello 22. 

Love, 

Nathan