Dear Readers,
It’s 8:18pm on a brisk November night... on a Friday. I am sitting on my bed in the comfiest of comfy robes and I have a Christmas Bath and Bodyworks candle burning. It’s really peaceful and I should be happy and content but I’m not. At this moment I am feeling this: melancholy, outcast, alone, stressed, and confused.
I know this might seem weird to be sharing with you but I promise that it’s for a reason. I love each of you beyond words and I love to be raw and honest with you. So, here I go.
You know that feeling of wanting someone to love you? I do. More times than not I feel that and I feel it deeply. From past posts you know I have not had the best luck with relationships. I can get in one, that’s not the problem but the problem is that someone always ends up hurting me in some way or another. It’s just what I have been given for now. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel that I have to be in a relationship to feel whole but to one day be in a relationship with someone and it’s love that would be beautiful and almost in a since magical. Ya know?
Today I was volunteering at a place that I do every Friday and my friend was there shadowing me. He was catching me up on his life and more specifically his dating life. He showed me his hundreds of matches on Tinder and updated me on all the men he is hopeful about. I couldn’t help but smile and just feel so happy for him. I love to see him dating and it being successful and him “slaying” it. Haha
Seeing people I love happy is one of my favorite things!
But... while he was catching me up in the back of my head I kept thinking:
“What is wrong with me?” “What does he have that I don’t?” “I can see why men want him and not me.”
After I noticed what I was saying and doing to myself I waited for a moment for when he stopped and excused myself to the restroom. I closed the door behind me, looked in the mirror over the sink, and said to myself:
“You WILL find love and you will have more dates in the future. Right now it’s just not your time and that’s okay! You’re doing great and your handsome!”
That moment was a wake up call for me.
With me telling you this I don’t want you to feel bad for me in the slightest. I instead want you to put this toward your own train of thought. If you’re not in a relationship right now remember that it’s okay! Love takes time and it will happen when the time is right. It may not be when you think it is but in retrospect it will be. I PROMISE! So don’t let being single or the struggles of dating get you down. You’re amazing. You’re of so much worth. And you’re beautiful!
Never forget that and never forget hope.
You are loved lovelies.
