YOU ARE YOU

Dear Lovelies, 

"...if you are a kid and you are out there and you are chubby and not so cute and nerdy and shy and invisible and in pain, whatever your race, whatever your gender, whatever your sexual orientation, I’m standing here to tell you: you are not alone.

Your tribe of people, they are out there in the world. Waiting for you."

-Shonda Rhimes 

This past week I have felt the opposite of what the amazing Shonda is saying in this excerpt from her speech at the Human Rights Campaign Gala in Los Angels, CA. I have felt less than those around me. I went through the cycle of me telling myself over and over again that no photographers actually want to take photographs of me but more they do it out of pity. I kept telling myself how huge my thighs have gotten and many other things. 

It got so bad that last night I broke down and cried in the shower. I then had a

"come to Jesus" moment with myself and told myself that I am beautiful in my own way. I am a powerhouse. I look how I do and that's okay!

Lovelies... I know you each have felt those negative things about yourself or some form of it. I know the pain it causes you. I want you to now that you are not alone and you are beautiful. We each will struggle with our own insecurities but never let them take over you. 

Never forget that and never forget hope.

You are loved. 

STRAIGHT GUYS

Dear Lovelies, 

By the title of this you may be confused or intrigued. I have been thinking about this topic for a while and I feel it is about time I wrote a thought or two about it. 

(Please note that throughout this blog post I am stating my opinions and thoughts from personal experiences throughout my life. I am not speaking for the entire gay community or the entire straight community.)

Throughout the entirety of my life I have tried to make true friendships with straight guys. Before I was out I tried so that no one would know I was gay. After I came out I continued to try because I genuinely wanted that connection of having one or more as a genuine friend. Is this making since Lovelies? 

Let me try to explain. Growing up I naturally became not only friends but best friends with girls and women. Our souls just connected and friendships were made. Reflecting back on when I tried become friends with straight males before I was out I notice that I tried too hard and it might have come off as desperation for that friendship with straight men and so it never worked. Now looking on present day Nathan trying to connect and make genuine with straight males it's different. I am being genuine and not trying to  be something I am not. 

I have a few genuine friends that are straight men and we hang out like I do with any of my other friends (female or LGBTQ+). We confide in each other and it's just like any other friendship I have. Now I am not saying that it is perfect. In all honesty I still walk on mental eggshells with any of my straight male friends. I am constantly worried that I will have them think I "in-love" with them or that I am being "too gay" around them. 

I am trying though and always working on improving on being 100% authentic with them. 

Now enough about me and my personal experiences with this topic. 

I personally feel that there is a huge stigma around gay and straight men being friends. From the gay mans viewpoint they are guarded to be-friend a straight man because of past experiences that may have included bullying of some sort of media platform and how they portray them. It scares them to open up and be vulnerable with them and the chance for them to say something derogatory about their sexual orientation. 

I feel that when both sides open up to one another and communicate that genuine friendships can form. There is no need for the current state of awkwardness that occurs between straight and gay men. 

PC: Paige Holmgren Photography 

Let us love each other. 

Never forget that and never forget hope.

You are loved.