I AM ENOUGH

Dear Readers, 

Something I have always struggled and mostly likely will always battle with is the love of my appearance and self as a human. It's always been a roller coaster of emotions and it has caused some bumps and bruises. 

Tuesday this week was quite the painful journey. I went to my classes and during my classes and on throughout my day, while I was at work my self worth went down the drain. The thoughts kept going through my head of thinking just some of these things:

 "I am just average and nothing is special or makes me unique...", there's more but the list could just go on forever and so I will not give those thoughts that type of time. 

While I was thinking these things the thought came to me to text a certain friend and reach out... I did and it was most likely the best thing I could have done for myself! We texted for the entirety of about 7 hours and she never made me feel like I was burdening her. 

She let me vent about how I was feeling, things that were stressing me, and even just what I am doing this weekend. We even shared a few jokes back and forth and it was the best thing for me. I guess the way I interrupt our conversation is that it was a soul healing session and it was beautiful and sacred for me. Why? You may ask. Because I got a little more strength throughout that conversation and within the first hour I was able to stop crying after I had been crying for the past 2 hours. 

At one point in our conversation I had given her a big list of all of the things I hate about myself and/or doubt about myself and here is a few words of what she said in response to that: 

"You are GREAT at loving others.

You are GREAT at sharing kindness. 

You are an influence for good. 

You are also a force to be reckoned with."

Those 4 sentences have become a mantra for me and have given me so much hope the past two days and I challenge each of you to use them for yourself as well. Why? Because in times of doubt we MUST be remind ourselves or each other of our value and why we are needed. At least I do. Whether it's through reading a few of my favorite quotes, listening to my Empowering Playlist, or just talking about life with a dear friend. It helps heal/strengthen me and I know it can do the same for you. 

Even though I am weak in knowing my worth or my ability to conquer most things I do know this. 

I know each of you are A-mazing. I know that you are each beautiful. I know that each of you are STRONG. 

Never forget that and never forget about hope. 

You are loved lovelies. 

I Hope This Helps You Heal

Dear Readers, 

I am cold. I feel goosebumps under my ballet tights and the warm air, from the heater blows onto the car windshield. I listen to one of my favorite playlist as I drive to school. I am in a peppy mood. 

As I sit at my desk and wait for my class to start I get on my phone... per usual except this time it is far from that. I read so many headlines about so many lives lost and way to many people injured. 

I start to feel numb. 

"This can not be." I keep saying over and over to myself. 

"This can not be."

I was in my class physically but mentally I was in Las Vegas. 

I went to my other classes and after I got home I just cried.

Once my tears started I could not get them to stop and all I could was let my emotions do what they wanted because that is what my soul needed. 

It needed to scream. 

In all honesty lovelies... I still feel a little numb from it but I am doing so much better. I am seeing that we are in mourning right now, as a country, and as a world. 

I feel many things about this and I do have my political opinions but I do not want to bring politics here and so I digress. 

I guess I am sharing my thoughts from that day with each of you to let you know that you are not alone. Your emotions are real and you feel them for as long as you need to. It's okay to hurt. It's okay to cry. And it's even okay to be angry. 

You. Are. Human. 

"Whatever you are going through, however dark it may seem, there is an undeniable truth and strength in the fact that you are not alone. We all have struggles. And as long as you never give up on yourself. Light will break through the darkness."

-Kesha

Be strong lovelies.