The Week Of Death

Dear Readers, 

What a week my lovelies. I know this might sound dark and dramatic but I call this past week 

"The Week of Death".

Here is why: 

On Monday, early in the morning my great uncle Don passed away from his battle of cancer. I was in a type of shock when my parents told me, due to him only being diagnosed 13 days before his passing. He was such a wonderful man. He always put everyone first and he helped all who crossed his path. 

The entire city, where he lived, was in mourning from his passing. I am grateful that he is not in pain anymore and I am grateful for all the love and prayers that have been sent to my family and I.

On Friday (the day of my uncle Don's funeral), I got on to my Facebook and saw the news that my dear friend Bonnie, a woman who I was her care taker for passed away. All I could do was get up from my desk and go to the stairs at my work and cry. I texted my coworker Lexi to have her meet me in the stairs. I told her the news and she just held me. It was just what I needed and I am so thankful for that beautiful moment. 

A few moments later, my mom called and told me the news that one of my aunts passed away that morning. You guessed it... I cried some more. After having a good cry I freshened up and went back to my desk and pretended that everything was fine. 

I guess I didn't do a good job because my boss came to my office and said that he needed to meet with me in the conference room. I was so nervous and thought I was in trouble. I entered the room and sat down. He looked at me and said "You're having a hard day, aren't you?" I simply said, "I am." and became vulnerable and explained why. He explained how he understands and wanted me to take the rest of the day off. 

I wanted to give him a hug and explain how grateful I am but all I could do was get up and say thank you. I am so thankful for him seeing that I was having a hard day and he gave me a brake to rejuvenate. I've never had a boss show compassion like that and it makes me feel oh so grateful for my job, even though I am not the best at it. 

I know that we can have days, weeks, or months of hardships but I promise that they won't last. I know it feels like it will but I promise the good times will come again. Just like the sun rises each day. 

You are stronger than you think and you are braver than you think. You are a beautiful soul and you have those on here on this earth and those who have passed on cheering you on every moment of everyday.

Love, 

Nathan 

Love Yourself

Dear Readers, 

I feel like this week I have been hard on myself and my appearance and I hate that. I hate that I, at times I just rip my appearance apart and only focus on the negative. 

I know it is not healthy and I have done my best to do the opposite this week and I actually have come up with a new and awesome technique! 

What I have started to do is keep a daily "Self Positive Journal". Each day I write in it something that I love about myself. It can be either physical or more of an emotional one. 

I encourage everyone to try it. I promise you that you will start to see yourself in a more positive way and you will start to feel more confident in who you are. 

"When your opinion of yourself goes up then you’ll stop trying to get so much validation and attention from other people. You become less needy and find an inner stability even when your world might be negative or uncertain at times.

The increasing self-esteem and self-love also makes you feel more deserving of good things in life and so you’ll self-sabotage less and go after what you deep down want with more motivation and focus than ever before."

- Unknown

Love, 

Nathan

An Elect Lady

Dear Readers,

As Mother's Day was on Sunday I have been thinking about my own mom and the amazing woman she is. There truly are not words that can fully explain how much I love her but there is a quote that reminds me of her whenever I see it. 

“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.” 

― George Washington

I adore you mom and I am beyond thankful for you and the beautiful human you are.

You are my person and I could never see my life without you.

Love your little Magoo (:

Did Someone Say Moving?!

Dear Readers,

All I can say is wow. You know how I was suppose to be moved to my new place and new city by now for school? Well... plans have changed and I am staying right where I am and I feel that it's what is suppose to be happening.

I have already found a new job and I just finished my first day there. 

So far it seems like a great place and I am really excited for what might be coming from it. As for school I will start attending Utah Valley University this fall and I am really excited. 

I've only done one semester of school but I will accomplish my dreams and get that degree. haha

Do you ever feel that your life plans change constantly? Well, I do and sometimes it hits me so hard that all I can do is sit down on my stairs and cry. Cry and yell at God that I am scared and I have no idea what He wants me to do. 

I mean I plan and prep and do what I feel He wants me to do and then I end up feeling broken and lost... 

I then remember something... I remember that it's all going to be okay and that I just need to have faith. I feel that a lot of the time He lets us feel broken so that when we feel full and joyful we really can feel it. Ya know? 

I hope this post has made sense (even though it's super short)  because I just wanted to be able to update you on my life and also what I've been thinking about a lot lately. 

I love you all so much and I hope you each are having a fantastic Monday. (:

Love, 

Nathan